Most Worshipful Grand Master, Brethren, Ladies and Guests, good evening.
Garth Peterson, a former janitor at Princeton University, once shared this information with Omni magazine: ‘Most of the professors appreciated it when you washed off the blackboard but not Dr. [Albert] Einstein. Every morning he’d burst into tears. Way I see it, I had a job to do and I was bound and determined to do it right. He wasn’t the only perfectionist in the university business.’
Well, I hope I don’t cause anyone to burst into tears when I talk about:

THE ROUGH ASHLARS OF MEDIOCRITY

 When we are satisfied with ordinary performance – when we are happy with moderate quality – when a so-so attitude is acceptable; we become the unintentional instruments of second best, second class and second place.

As a Fraternity of upright men and Masons and a Fraternity that stands for family values, moral living and charitable giving; we singularly as individuals and together as a Masonic family cannot accept second hand nor afford to be second rate.

Let us compare mediocrity to rough ashlars in a quarry, a quarry of perfection. They are stones in their present state that are of no great value or exceptional quality. They cannot be used to erect the moral and Masonic edifices of life – or to construct the great spiritual Temples of ones faith – or to build the generous structures of charity. If these stones are left in their present state, unattended and unrefined they will clutter and impede this quarry of perfection.

The architect who designed Chicago’s first skyscraper; Daniel H. Burnham said, “Make no little plans, they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistency. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty.”

Yes, “Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty”. Isn’t this what part of our Fraternity is about? It proves that a noble, logical diagram – a system of values and brotherhood, of relief and truth; what we call Masonry has not and will not die.

By utilizing the God given working tools of life we can eliminate the uselessness of the mundane. We must chisel off the rough edges of mediocrity; hone the ordinary into the extraordinary and polish the dull and tarnished surfaces of imperfection into a blinding and glimmering brilliance of perfection. Let us chisel, hone and polish.

Andrew Carnegie said, “The average person puts only twenty-five percent of his energy and ability into his work. The world takes off its hat to those who put in more than fifty percent of their capacity, and stands on its head for those few and far between souls who devote one-hundred percent.”
Can we afford to be just average and settle for twenty-five percent of energy and ability in what we do?  Or do we satisfy ourselves with fifty percent of what we are capable of achieving? Let us use the tools of Masonry to chisel the rough edges of mediocrity, clear the clutter in the quarry and devote ourselves one-hundred percent to the elements of our Family, our Community and our Fraternity.

The useless and burdensome weight of the rough ashlars of mediocrity can be found in all aspects of life and in all institutions, government and private alike. For example, did you know that the recent hurricanes and gasoline issues in our country are proof of the existence of a new chemical element? A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, twenty-five assistant neutrons, eighty-eight deputy neutrons, and one-hundred-ninety-eight assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of three-hundred-twelve.  These three-hundred-twelve particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

  Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since its reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
 This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration!
 This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
 When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium- an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Let us set a goal, starting with ourselves as a Fraternity to hone with steadfast diligence any ordinary attitudes, mundane actions or mediocre abilities that are present and shape them into positive attitudes, extraordinary actions and exceptional abilities. This goal can be achieved by accounting for our own actions through self-motivation, self-discipline and responsibility to ones-self.

 Jonathan Swift wrote, “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

 If you expect to polish the dull and tarnished surfaces of imperfection into the glimmering brilliance of perfection you must have the strength to overcome disappointment, the wheel-power to stay the course, the fortitude to endure and the patience to prevail.
  

To illustrate this point, I would like to tell a little story. You know that potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato who they called Yam. Of course, they wanted nothing but the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed and get a bad name for herself like Hot Potato and end up with a bunch of tater tots. Yam said not to worry; no spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand, she wouldn’t stay home and become a couch potato, either. And she would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.  
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard boiled Irish potatoes; and the greasy guys from France called French fries. And when she went out west, they told her to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow. She wouldn’t associate with those high-flying Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks saying Frito Lay.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (Potato University) so that when she graduated she’d really be in the chips. But, in spite of all they did for her, despite all the talk about perfection and quality, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset! They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw. She asked why? Because, they said…he’s just a common-tater.
 Second best, second class and second place are for those who do not want to achieve their potential and they shall never be disappointed because first rate, first class and first place require great expectations.

 And remember, stay away from those morons, peons and isodopes because along with other heavy metals, they can be dangerous to your health.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your evening.
Frank C. Baker, Worshipful Grand Orator – © 09 June 2006