SOUTHERN COMFORT

What do the words Southern Comfort mean to you? Does it portray the feeling of that laid back attitude and slow sophisticated drawl that is common in the South? Could they possibly refer to that sweet intoxicating liquor you mix with your favorite beverage and imbibe while toasting in jovial libation? Or does the meaning of the words Southern Comfort define attitudes and customs in today’s society? Or maybe the term “Southern Comfort” relates to just good old fashioned down home hospitality? For the purpose of this oration “Southern Comfort” refers to three words; etiquette – decorum – propriety; good old fashioned class pure and simple. In the following excerpts from an abstract on Southern Culture and Tradition, Arizona School of Professional Psychology, L. M. Henline wrote, “Southerners were well known to be true gentlemen and still to this day are referred to as gentlemen.  Manners are very important and go hand-in-hand with respect.”  “Children as well as adults answer yes mam/sir and no mam/sir to their elders. They are taught not to interrupt a conversation.  They are taught to be perfect little adults.” “Other notable aspects of southern heritage are ghost tales passed down from generation to generation.” “In conclusion, the south was built with pride and much of that pride still remains, as do many of the traditions and culture.  This affects many aspects of a southerner’s life in many ways.”
Today, southern customs have come to represent a civilized society that implies an attitude of civility, culture and manners based on the practices and attitudes of the southern gentleman within the United States. Caring for others, respect for others and giving to others as always; in an unconditional, hospitable and civilized manner is “Southern Comfort”.

If you refer to The Random House College Dictionary you will find this definition:
Under Etiquette: Conventional requirements as to social behavior. Etiquette, Decorum, Propriety imply observance of the formal requirements governing behavior in polite society. Etiquette refers to conventional forms and usages: the rules of etiquette. Decorum suggests dignity and a sense of what is becoming or appropriate for a person of good breeding: a fine sense of decorum. Propriety (usually plural) implies established conventions of morals and good taste: to observe the proprieties.

We can apply these three words to all of our daily interactions with one another to create a greater sense of respect, belonging and camaraderie among the Craft and within the Masonic Family. I find that there is a real need to establish more “Southern Comfort” within our close knit family of Fraternal Brotherhood, of Men and Masons, of families and friends, of neighbors and communities. The desire to be more civil to one and all can and should be carried outside the doors of the Lodge room and into the personal exchanges of our daily lives. When we apply the conventional rules of etiquette to our daily routine and portray a positive social behavior in and out of our Lodge rooms, in and out of our Temples and in and out of our respective lives we develop the life long attitude of caring for and helping others. We give others the respect they deserve and in turn we receive respect. Do you remember how good you felt when you helped someone unconditionally, on the spur of the moment? The saying: “A good turn deserves another” is always in order even if you find it hard to make the first move and reach out toward a stranger. Take poor old Brother John as a good example; as told in this story by an unknown author:

A loud pounding on the door awakens Brother John and his wife at 3 o’clock in the morning. Brother John gets up and goes to the door where he finds a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, and asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says Brother John, “It is three o’clock in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife. “Just some drunken guy asking for a push,” he answers. “Did you help him?” she asks. “No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when our car broke down and those two gentlemen helped us? I think you should go out and help him; and you should be ashamed of yourself being a Mason and all!” The man moans ok, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the darkness, “Hello mister, are you still there?” “Yes,” comes back the answer. “Do you still need a push?” Brother John calls out.
From the dark came the reply; “Yes, please!” “Where are you?” asks Brother John. The drunken man replies, “Over here on the swing!”

When we apply the conventional rules of decorum to our daily routine we portray positive mannerisms and establish respect, civility and dignity with character that multiplies and divides as in cells of an organism exponentially growing with time creating what the two words, “Southern Comfort” really stand for – class. In the Lodge room; all assembled herein are to conduct themselves with due order and decorum. What about outside of the Lodge room? Do we not have a responsibility to conduct ourselves with the same decorum, fervor and zeal at all times not only when it is convenient or appropriate for us to do so? When we decide to conduct ourselves with the utmost of decorum; we have what is called class, pure and simple. An unknown author penned these words about class and I would like to share the words with you:
CLASS
Class never runs scared. It is sure-footed and confident, and it can handle whatever comes along.
Class has a sense of humor. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations.
Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes.
Class knows that good manners are sacrifices and minor inconveniences.
Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or money. Some extremely wealthy people have no class at all, while others who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it.
Class is real. You can’t fake it.
Class is comfortable in its own skin. It never puts on airs.Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not attempt to look better by making others look worse.
Class can “walk with kings and keep its virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch.” Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself.
If you have class, you got it made.
If you don’t have class, no matter what else you have, it won’t make up for it.          

When we apply the conventional rules of propriety to our daily routine we establish the proprieties of good taste. This is demonstrated by the moral and common sense actions we display within the Fraternity. It is necessary to do more in the education, instruction and support for the moral, cultural and ethical duties we owe our creator and society for all of our members. Conforming to the established standards of proper behavior and keeping our passions within due bounds prevent our actions from becoming, as in this Louisiana ghost story, blown out of proportion.
Apparently, this happened some time ago near a little town in Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it is real so they say.
This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a heavy thunder storm. The night passed slowly and not one single car traveled by. The storm was so strong with blinding rain; he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly crept toward him and stopped. Reflexively, the guy jumped into the back seat of the car and closed the door, then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel.
The car slowly started moving again. The guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy started to pray, begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and he would plunge to his death, when just before the curve, a hand appeared thru the window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Paralyzed with terror, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy gathered his wits and leaped from the car and ran to the nearest town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, and told everybody about his horrible, supernatural experience. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was apparently sane and not drunk.
About half an hour later two men walked into the same bar, soaked from the rain. One says to the other, “Look Boudreaux, dat’s the idiot that rode in our car when we was pushin’ it in da rain.”
The selfishness of ones actions, the failure to ask for permission or assistance and taking advantage of a vulnerable situation can lead to quite an embarrassing outcome and demonstrates a lack of established proprieties.
Southern gentlemen have set the example when it comes to the importance of culture, manners and respect. In the daily interactions with one another – In the establishment of respect and character toward one another – in that Petri dish of life; etiquette, decorum and propriety no matter how small the effort will generate, multiply and evolve into the steadfast character, positive attitude and genuine civility that is “class” and is represented by the two words “Southern Comfort”.
 

Oh, by the way, someone said, “Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.”
 

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your evening.
Frank C. Baker, Worshipful Grand Orator – © 16 Sep 2006